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When Things Go Wrong, Don’t Go with Them

“When things go wrong don’t go with them.”

~ Elvis Presley

Good Morning My Confidants!

It’s been a rough few years. It has. There is no other way to look at it. Pretending that it hasn’t been is foolish.


I must admit my part in what I did to make it worse.

I forgot to Second Noble Truth. I lived by it for years and I was happy and positive and always looking for Silver Linings and people told me all the time that I helped them feel better. Then all that changed. But it wasn't the circumstances that made everything so horrible, it was how I dealt with it all. Because in life, shit happens, and there ain't nothing I can do about it.

The Second Noble Truth is called samudaya, or the origination of suffering. That cause comes from the events—the thoughts—in our minds. This is the main message of this truth: The cause of suffering lies inside of us. We suffer, not from what comes into the mind—circumstances—but from our thoughts about what is happening. Things outside—society, the climate—might be atrocious, but they’re not the real cause of our suffering. If they were, then in the quest to put an end to suffering, we would have to make the world a perfect place. But how can we possibly do that, especially when what is perfect is different to different people. If we had the superpowers to make the world perfect for us, others would suffer because the world wouldn't be perfect for them.

The cause of suffering lies within our minds, and because we can learn to look at things differently, we can end our suffering, or at least do a lot to help us live happier lives. When we teach ourselves to think differently, when we see things differently, we can be so much happier.

I believe in the Law of Attraction! I know that I know that I know that I know it is real. Anyone who tells me differently, I cut off their thoughts, but in that direction lies madness. In that direction dragons await, and not the fun kind.

I had a world of hurt with the hell-hole where I worked, the way I was treated, constant pain, the Covid and all that isolation, the wait for Disability, the alcoholism of a close friend, and so much more.

And I forgot not to let it FILL ME UP.

It got to all I could think about was how horrible everything was and that it was never going to get better, that it couldn't get any better.

And what I think about, and thank about, I bring about.

What I thought about—my misery—and what I thanked about—and I might as well have been thanking because of the way I dwelled on the shitty stuff—is what the Law of Attraction brought to me. I thought how it isn't going to get better, and anything bad that can happen will happen, and that is what happened! I said it couldn't get better and it didn't!

And even when things did get better—I got my Disability, and my friend went to rehab and started having month after month after month of sobriety, and I found a non-opioid means to deal with my pain—I was still negative! I was trained into thinking "wrongly."

But bit by bit, as I have worked and worked and worked, things are getting better. I am putting myself—physically—in more positive and nurturing places. Reading and listening to positive things, at least in the morning where my rule is no News before noon. I am associating with positive people. And this world is FILLED with negative people.

I, or someone, makes a post about a positive thing that has happened for GLBTQ people, or women's issues, or people of color, and nearly every single time—and there is a handful of people I can't count on doing it every time—someone is sure to say, "Yes, but is it going to change anything? Probably not!" ...or... "Yeah, but that is only in [fill-in-the-place]! What about all the other places where things are even worse?" ...or... "Well, you know everyone is going to allow [fill-in-the-blank] to happen during the next election and then we will lose all we have gained!"

And if I call them on it?

"Ben, I am only trying to make you aware of the real-world and not that silly place you believe in. If you prepare yourself for the worse, then you won't be surprised when it comes, and it is going to come. I can tell you it will. I have watched it get worse all my life!"

My response these days? Unfriend. Block. In social media, and in real life.

It may hurt to lose friends, even those that I willingly chose to eject from my life, and I may occasionally miss them, or at least the good times we had, however, there are 8,088,223,743 people living on this planet.** Guess what? When I use the Law of Attraction to think about, and thank about, all the wonderful friends I have, more wonderful friends will be drawn to me, and me to them.

So! Yes! I messed up, and messed up bad over the last three years while all that bad shit was going on, but I do have to commend myself for looking for Silver Linings once a day, every day, last year! I know that it helped. And now have this blog to keep me on track. To be accountable.

But I dwelled a lot on what has been taken from me.

And now I am remembering…. Remembering that nothing lasts.

Things will pass.

I’ve said that one of the things I like about being the age I am is that I can look back at my life and see that even though there were some dark and even horrible times—some deep dark valleys—eventually, every single time—there were wonderful bright hills and mountains—it got better. Every. SIngle. Time.

Times got better.

Much better.

Today I think on better.

My daughter is coming over to spend some of the day with me. We will have a blast. Yesterday I hung out with two different friends that I really love, and it was wonderful! Tomorrow, Noah and I are going to go see a movie with a beloved friend that I used to see at least once a month, and that I've only seen three times since Covid. We are going to have a wonderful time! And the movie with be my ten for ten for the Best Picture nominations! Tomorrow, we have a wonder evening planned to celebrate the first day of Chinese/Lunar New Year. Wednesday is Valentine's Day and that is going to be special. So much good!

And what I think about, and thank about, I bring about.

How about you?


B.G. "Gentle Ben" Thomas

** The current world population is 8,088,223,743 as of Wednesday, January 31, 2024 according to the most recent United Nations estimates elaborated by Worldometer:,United%20Nations%20estimates%20%5B%201%5D%20elaborated%20by%20Worldometer.

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I am SO happy for you that you have turned this corner. And I am reminded that we can it spiritual "practice" for a reason - we have to keep practicing every day.

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Thank you so much for this

~ Ben

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