Memorial to Jamie Fessenden

Good Morning My Confidants,

My heart is absolutely breaking at word that my friend Jamie Fessenden has died....

I simply cannot believe it. My brain isn't computing. I'm in complete shock. Numb.

Jamie was my roommate at several writers events, I invited him to be a part of book I edited called A More Perfect Union, an anthology about gay marriage, written by gay male writers who were married. His story was the most personal, and very well written. He was instrumental in my being involved with the anthology series Gothika, created by Eli Easton, one of my proudest times as a writer.

I would not say we were "close," but we certainly enjoyed each other's company. He's the best convention roommate I've ever had, he was funny, we shared laughter, good whiskey, a hot tub, he was sexy, a brilliant writer, caring, compassionate, innovative, original, and far more.

He had a new work about the colonization of Mars. I don't think it was released. I wanted to read it so much!

I want to scream! I want to break down crying, but how will I stop? This isn't fair! Everything was about to be better! He was getting an operation on his heart, a valve, and this was turning everything around.

I can hear his voice. I can hear his laughter! That sort of grunt he makes.

I can't imagine how Eli must be feeling, she was his friend and hero. Or Frederick Feeley, another of his good friends. I'm thinking of you both.

And Jamie's husband, Erich Rickheit! I'm not sure if he and I ever actually spoke, but I certainly yelled out, "Hey, Erich," while he and Jamie were on the phone. Erich, you are in my heartfelt prayers.

Oh, Jamie, I'm going to miss you so much. I was so wanting to hang out with you again. Wherever you are now, Valhalla, or reincarnating, passing on to something we living can't imagine, know that I love you my friend. I am richer for having known you, and broken hearted that you are gone. I will miss you. I already did.

Goddamnit!!!! No!!! I so wanted to visit him in person and finally see his home which he talked about so much. I'll never see him again.

What an amazing man and incredible storyteller.

The world is a poorer place with our you, Jamie. But a richer place for having had you in it.

Peace as you cross the Rainbow Bridge My friend

Namaste,

Ben

Michael Murphy, J. Scott Coatsworth, Me, and Jamie Fessenden