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It's Tuesday, What Are You UP to Today?

Good Morning My Confidants!

What's good in your life today?

I don't HAVE to do anything today. It is a day that no matter what I do, it is gravy. I need (want) to do something for the home, even if it is something in my office. Something making me get up and do something. This is not an obligation, just a contribution of my time an energy, especially when I have such wonderful husbands. They treat me so well, They take care of me. That is really special. And all of that is good in my life today.

I got a good night's sleep last night! My shoulder surgeries were screaming at me the night before and I could not get comfortable, every position hurt after five minutes, and I couldn't sleep. But last night was wonderful! I didn't even have to get up to do older-man-stuff in the middle of the night! LOL! That is something good in my life today.

Noah installed a "donate" button to my blog called "buy me a coffee" (I knew he was going to do something like that but didn't realize he had done it already) and on the first day someone contributed! I am so happy! Got me al teary eyed! Thank you do that person (I don't know if she wants to be identified). That is something good in my life today.

My husband RBear and Aspen our Maltese are coming home today. And RBear is still doing all right (he was sick). I think he probably overdid it and should have stayed home another day before going to help is mother, but he is a terrific son as well has husband and she really needed his help, and he got to rest a lot as well. So, all of that is good in my life today.

The past few days I have only felt the "need" to make a "this is the way it really is" comment once in social media. Every other time I felt this need (want) to express my opinion, I stopped and scrolled on. I didn't waste any energy arguing with someone where nothing would have been achieved. I wasn't changing any of these people's minds, so why do it? I have a friend who it is their mission in life to let people know where they are wrong, and they think it changes the world, but I don't think it does. I haven't seen evidence to the contrary.


What I have seen is the world being changed by example.

By being THE change I want to see in the world. Leading by example.

I always thought that if you were a person who was against abortion, that it would make far more sense to be outside of such clinics with signs of beautiful babies being held by someone looking at the baby lovingly instead of signs with aborted fetuses. With signs saying something like, "Are you sure you want to do this? I can help!" and then they give actual loving help with for the mother. Helping them with alternatives. It is easy to say, "You can give the baby up for adoption" if you aren't helping the mother. Be prepared to BE the change you want in the world.

Yes, sometimes the world does need SCREAMED at so they will listen. But most of the time, as I have seen frequently, all that happens when we scream is that doors slam shut and ears slam shut even harder. No one wants to be yelled at and all it does is activate our fight or flight instincts.

I don't know if any of my many changes for the good happened because people pointed out my deficiency or told me I was a shit. On the other hand, when someone lovingly pointed out the "error" of my ways and gave me better ways to look at things, I have changed over and over and over and over again.


Therefor I have once or thrice these past few days made a comment on a post (or anther person's comment) if I felt I could do it in a way that I wouldn't alienate them or make them slam their doors shut. And I actually wound up having an wonderful dialogue with one of them!

But today?

Today's mission was to get up and have coffee. I have done that (am doing that) and I am waking up to a million possibilities for love and joy and kindness. And in the end, to properly explain just what my religion is, I quote the Dali Lama:

That is my total and complete goal. And when I see someone acting like a complete and total idiot or douchbag or wasting their time or swirling around the bowl of the stop and think about that person as a an actual person. Yes! Even people who are blindly doing things that hurt the world.

Because usually, something is going on.

So many of us are terrified right now, and when we are scared that fight or flight instinct is activated.

Ever done something really stupid? You knew it was stupid while you were doing it but you did it anyway. Or you realized it was stupid while you were doing it, but you still did it? Or you realized it was stupid afterward and instead of fixing it or apologizing, your ego made you commit yourself to the mistake instead of the embarrassment of admitting you made a mistake?

MY personal answer to all of those is yes, yes, yes, and yes.

I think that is what has happened to several people who are very much in the limelight. You see someone you admire and have loved do something REALLY stupid and you can't imagine why the hell they did or said that... And then they got attacked on all levels and so they committed themselves to whatever they did or said instead of stopping, taking a deep breath, and red-faced, admitted they were wrong. I think that is what happened to a certain British writer, an ally, who was a hero to so many people for so many reasons and then she made a dumbass statement and instead of taking a step back, she bulldozed ahead with her horrible behavior. When you get so rich you don't care if you are boycotted (I understand she is richer that the UK's Royality), you can do that.

I hope I never do that.

And you all have my full permission to talk to me when (because I most likely will) do something stupid, but the caveat is that you must do it kindly. If you want to change my mind that is and not just yell.

Does anyone reading this get anything out of yelling? Does it help?

I have found yelling into a pillow helps. And once or thrice in my life, yelling at a lover really loud at least released something inside of me. Something that needed to be released, and all the psychological stuff just didn't work.....

My point, and I do have one, is that I am truly stepping away from Privileged Ben who thinks he would do a really good job at ruling the planet Earth, and instead just trying to be a loving source for the world around me. And to see others, all others, as people. And to beam most of them a little bit of love.

Who knows how the world could be changed...if we simply decided to love.

Love to you all,


BG "Gentle Ben" Thomas

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Mar 28

I promise not to yell at you! I want to be the change in my world, but cannot get out of my cloud. Each day is full of blessings, I just have to recognize them!!😁

Replying to

(((HUG))) You can do it!! (((HUG)))


Mar 26

From Marj: Snow 8+ inches, Rain, much, hard all night, then by 4AM this morning heavy snow and wind. Can't complain, we need the water. Sigh.

Replying to

I would complain! LOL! Let it rain let it rain let it rain! But NO snow!

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